


In Requius Effervescent Memoriam (In R.E.M.)

by Joyfulldreams



Series: The Sleep Cycle [5]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, First Time Blow Jobs, Jam Fic, M/M, Oral Fixation, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Coital Cuddling, SBURB/SGRUB
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-10
Updated: 2017-11-10
Packaged: 2019-01-31 15:38:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12684810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joyfulldreams/pseuds/Joyfulldreams
Summary: After it's over, when you look back on everything, you search for the memories that might give you insight into how everything went so wrong. How you could have stopped it from happening like it did, though you can't exactly go back and change it. But as you think back further, you find yourself desperately trying to find proof that it wasn't always bad. There were good times. Good times that you never want to give up, or forget.(Dirk and Jake date for approximately 4 and a half months, stuck in Sburb, waiting for something or someone to arrive. What they had may have ended in fairly spectacular fashion, but it wasn't all bad. Detailed here will be a series of important moments spanning the duration of their relationship, focusing heavily on their mutual sexual exploration, and their emotional compatibility.)





	In Requius Effervescent Memoriam (In R.E.M.)

**Author's Note:**

> So now begins my sexy, sexy exploration into Dirk and Jake's relationship! 
> 
> Here is how this fic is going to be formatted. The overall plot will span over the course of Dirk and Jake's about 4 1/2 month long relationship in SBURB. Each chapter will take place an average of 1.5 weeks after the previous one. The chapters will also alternate between a chapter that is purely sexual exploration, and a chapter that is non-sexual romance. 
> 
> At the moment two chapters actually have both sex _and_ romance, but there's a chance I might split those bits off into separate chapters, not sure yet. 
> 
> Either way, for smut chapters, the relevant content warnings will be up at the top since those aren't really spoilers so much as they are the entire premise of the chapter. For romance-focused chapters, warnings will be at the bottom, if applicable. 
> 
> Warnings for this chapter!
> 
> Contains underage characters engaging in (very) consensual sex, fairly vanilla oral sex, and _sort of_ Dirk's discovery of his insane oral fixation.

 

The first time you and Jake had sex, you didn’t even manage to get all your clothes off. That isn’t the most memorable thing about it by a mile, but it’s one of the few details you can hold in your mind without getting stupidly emotional. The memory is undeniably precious to you, but taking even a moment to fathom exactly  _ how _ precious can cause your carefully-crafted composure to waver dangerously. 

You’ve found yourself reliving this memory once or twice in dreams, in places you have come to understand are called dream bubbles. Things you once saw as distant pinpricks of multicolored lights in an endless void filled with nearly invisible horrors. It’s still sort of difficult to wrap your mind around the process of dreaming, and thinking about what you know lies outside the bubbles doesn’t help. Jumping onto a different train of thought, is it weird or pathetic that you’ve had all of maybe four dreams since the actual real-life event, and half of them were spent reliving it? Jake would tell you to stop thinking so much, especially now.

It’s difficult  _ not _ to let your mind wander to and around that moment, though, because it’s the only tangible experience you have to fall back on for this sort of thing. But all you’ve managed to conclude is that you’re fucking hopeless, you still don’t know what you’re doing, and are letting yourself get distracted at the worst possible time. Jake is looking down at you with an incredulous expression. Shit. You’re already fucking this up and all you’ve done is  _ think. _

“By gum, Dirk, only you can manage to boondoggle while in a position like this,” Jake snorts. He taps your forehead and you wince a little in reflex. “Quiet down in there! The sprockets in that belfry of yours can cause quite a racket, you know. It ruins the mood!”

You have enough shame to blush a little at the scolding, but still too much pride to take that shit lying down. Or rather, kneeling down, you guess? “The mood’s already taking a few hits every time you say crap like ‘boondoggle’ and ‘by gum’.”

“Well maybe to make up for it I should light some of those candles after all, hm?” he teases you. 

“For the last time, we’re not wasting grist alchemizing  _ candles,” _ you snort, rolling your eyes. “I’m not enabling your hopeless romanticism at the expense of our entire party.”

“We alchemized candles for our birthday cakes!” Jake protests, pouting. “And they were so cheap...”

“That was obviously a special occasion. Three special occassions. And they were birthday cake sized, not the dozens of giant scented ones you’d make if I let you.”

“Does this not count as a special occasion?” He’s starting to break out the puppy dog eyes. Fuck. 

“...I...guess,” you admit, unable to bring yourself to disagree. “But I’m not going to be the one to explain to Jane what we used that grist on and why.”

Jake instantly makes a face of discomfort, and you know that means you’ve won. “...Touche,” he huffs, leaning forward a little. The springs of the bed squeak under him as he does. 

You can’t stop yourself from more babbling. It’s what you do reflexively when you’re nervous. “Thank you for finally seeing reason. Again.”

“You are  _ awfully _ chatty while on your knees,” Jake says, voice dropping to a much lower register. You immediately shut up. 

Yeah. You’ve been trying not to think too hard about the position you’re in. It’s  _ hard _ to let go of your pride when you aren’t suffering from the aftershocks of intense emotional whiplash and exhaustion. Even though you really fucking want to. The second Jake hesitantly suggested trying this, you were on board. But now that you’re kneeling on your bedroom floor in front of Jake, who is sitting on the edge of your bed, your instinct is to be a smartass to overshadow your intense nerves. That’s...diminished, now. 

It’s embarrassing how quickly Jake is able to mold you like clay in his hands. He’s got you pinned in place with just his stare as he starts ogling your naked torso. His shirt is off, too. You both managed that much. 

“Are you about ready?” Jake asks, finally.

“...Are you?” you shoot back, genuinely trying to tamp down your smugness. “You kind of need to get your pants off for this.”

“I  _ know,” _ he says, petulantly. He’s the one to flush in embarrassment this time. “I just wanted to take this slow is all.”

You bite back another quip about how the pace is currently glacial, because that spins too easily into a Titanic joke, and god forbid you get Jake thinking about  _ that _ fucking movie. The fragile atmosphere couldn’t take that kind of a blow. Also, you’re trying not to be a little shit, remember?

Jake fidgets where he sits, then clears his throat. “...close your eyes, maybe? While I do that?”

Your eyebrows shoot up. “Uh...why?” What business does Jake have getting all modest on you now, given what you’re about to do? Is he having second thoughts? Fuck. 

“It’s just a smidge difficult to do with you staring at me like that! From. That particular angle.” He swallows and looks away, eyes flitting down at you only briefly. You feel anxiety start to rear it’s ugly head. 

No room for that now. Don’t think too hard. Just...do what Jake wants. You can manage at least that, can’t you? You close your eyes. 

“How’s that?” you ask, unable to see Jake’s reaction. You sit back a bit on your heels to allow Jake some room, and hear him move around some more. 

“Perfect,” he says, and the way he says it makes you swallow thickly. Your face heats up again. Come on, get a fucking grip on yourself. He shouldn’t be able to unbalance you like that with just a word. 

With your sight robbed from you, you are forced to focus on your other senses. The squeal of the bedsprings as Jake rolls onto the bed. A rustle of fabric; him shrugging the pants off. The slight disturbance in the air above you, which you can only assume are Jake’s socks flying by your head. Or...maybe his underwear? Is Jake naked now?

Now you get why Jake wanted you to close your eyes, and are pretty fucking glad he asked. There is a distinct and unsettling cognitive dissonance at the idea of just watching Jake rip off that particular item of clothing. You’ve seen porn stars do it, and have gotten somewhat used to the look of your own body as you strip for a shower. But...Jake is different. It’s way easier to simply imagine it, for now. Or else you’d probably blurt out a joke about dick size to mask your discomfort and ruin absolutely everything. 

You hear Jake clear his throat and shift again. When he goes silent, you guess he’s returned to the edge of the bed. Should you...open your eyes now? Jake isn’t saying anything. Fuck. When you do open them you’re going to have a dick in your face. JAKE’S dick.  _ Holy fuck.  _

But you keep them closed. You should wait for Jake to be comfortable enough, first. Except...he still hasn’t told you to look yet. Does he not want you to look at all? Should you ask him if he wants to stop?

Another beat of silence, and you can’t take it anymore. “Jake, do you not want to--”

“ _ Quiet, _ Strider. I’m thinking,” he interrupts you. “Of course I do. I suggested it.”

“...You’re allowed to change your mind,” you mutter quietly. You don’t want him to. But you understand if he has. 

“I haven’t,” he insists. You want to believe him. But it sounds like he might just be too stubborn to admit it? In which case, your attempts to take the pressure off are actually doing the opposite, and you’re the fucking worst. Big surprise. 

Maybe you can still fix this. It’s getting kind of awkward with your eyes closed, but you’re not going to invade his privacy. “I mean, hey, I totally get it if you don’t man, we can just put our clothes back on and not talk about--”

“Jesus christ crinklefucker, Dirk, pipe DOWN! I’m not having second thoughts, or third, or fourth! Just...puzzling out how I want this to happen.” He sounds mad now. Fuck. Okay, time for you to really shut up. “You’re protesting an awful lot. Are you sure you aren’t the one rethinking things?”

“No,” you say as quickly as you can possibly manage, so he’ll believe you. You’ve learned your lesson. You need to keep your fucking mouth shut. 

_...Until Jake puts his dick in it _ , you think. You feel your face heat up even further at that thought.

Maybe that’s actually what convinces him, because a second or two later you feel the fingers of one of his hands slowly work their way into your hair. You twitch and almost gasp in surprise. “Alright. Could you...maybe you could keep your eyes closed? For now?” 

Uh. Really? Well...you’re certainly getting used to it, at least. He still sounds nervous as he asks that, but you know better than to try and protest again. Leave the poor guy alone, you’re nervous too, damn it. Especially now that you have to do this...blind? Apparently? “I...guess I could.”

“Only if that’s alright with you,” he adds on quickly. “And. You don’t have to keep them closed the whole time. Just...to get us past this awkward hurdle.”

You can definitely agree with that. You’ve been on the floor for like 10 goddamn minutes and all you’ve done is talk. Your knees are starting to hurt. “So...I take it I should just. Start?”

His fingers tighten a little in your hair. Oh, fuck. This is like. Happening. Another second passes before Jake stutters out “G-go right ahead!”

_ A head, _ you think. No, don’t make yourself laugh out of unease, just. Do it. Jake’s grip subtly nudges you into leaning forward, and you can’t see where it is, so you reach a hand out to find Jake’s knee. Your thumb bumps up against what you think is his shin. Swallowing, you move your hand slowly up his leg and hear Jake take something of a ragged breath. He’s into it? You hope he is. 

You reach his upper thigh and keep leaning forward until you feel some of your hot breath bounce back onto your upper lip. Oh, fuck. Your confirmation comes in the form of Jake’s tiny gasp. It’s like. Right there. Okay. Wow. Fuck. Shit. Fucking shit. 

As you try to adjust your sitting position to something maybe a little more comfortable, your head bobs forward just a tiny bit, and something bumps briefly against your nose. You feel a muscle in Jake’s thigh twitch.  _ Fuuuuuck. _ Stop this. Stop stalling. Just go fucking  _ go. _

You open your mouth, and just kind of...quickly whip out your tongue. It makes contact, but retract so quickly you don’t taste much of anything. Jake twitches and he lets out a laugh. Your cheeks feel white hot. “W-what?? I can’t see!”

He keeps letting out aborted chuckles. “I-I’m sorry! That was just... _ fairly _ friggin adorable.”

You are probably making a very stupid face, struggling between a scowl and a smile, because Jake snorts a little louder. “Stop it, dude. Don’t laugh at me. Come on.”

“Okay! Okay, okay,” he takes a deep breath and goddamn it, you can feel his dick brush against your cheek. You frown as Jake chuckles one last time before he finally shuts up. 

You’re starting to feel frustrated now. At this rate you are never going to get to suck Jake’s dick. Yes, you want to. You admit to yourself, out of pure spite, that  _ yeah _ you want to suck your boyfriend’s dick and  _ yeah _ you are being really fucking stupid right now and  _ yeah _ it’s actually really nice to get to laugh about it. But you’re not some wilting prudish damsel, you are a  _ man _ . You can  _ suck this dick!!! _

You grunt and open your mouth again, getting your tongue out once more. You let it linger along what you can finally gauge is the base of...the head? Is that foreskin? Wow. Uh. You’re not sure, and as you sort of...scope it out with your tongue, Jake twitches like crazy and his grip on your hair spasms. “H-holy--mackerel Dirk,” Jake stutters out. You feel your chest swell with triumph. Okay. You really can do this. 

There is immediate appeal to doing this with your eyes closed. You do wish you could see what Jake looks like, but you find that trying to  _ feel _ it out and size him up with your tongue is definitely working. You can let your raw curiosity fuel you, and every individual action helps Jake get off. You run your tongue and then your lips up and down his full length, trying to semi-triangulate how long he is, and use your hand to try and size up the thickness. Your only real frame of reference is how your own dick feels, and you can tell that Jake is thicker than you. Not quite as long, as you deduce by slowly pumping him with your hand. Jake makes a much louder noise at that, and now both of his hands are in your hair. Encouraging. 

He’s got texture where you don’t, and after lapping your tongue in a circular pattern around him you start to suss out there might be a bit of a curve? Shit. Your pants are getting tighter. 

_ “Dirk,” _ Jake grunts, and you can hear a bit of desperation in his voice. Oh, man. You’re driving him wild, aren’t you? That’s a really good feeling. “How much longer are you going to--”

Just to interrupt him and get a reaction, you finally wrap your lips around his head, and start working the foreskin down further with your tongue. Jake doesn’t get to finish his sentence and instead lets out this high-pitched keen that makes you feel on top of the fucking world. His hips spasm pretty hard, and his whole body starts to tremble. Pressing your thumb into his inner thigh, you can feel his pulse hammering away. You realize, as you press your tongue down a little harder, you can actually feel it in his  _ dick _ too, ever so faintly. In fact, as you do, it starts to firm up slightly in your mouth.

You don’t think you have words to describe what that makes you feel, but it is very fucking hot. 

You start to taste...something new, as you somewhat lazily loop your tongue around his head. You realize it’s probably precum, and investigate further by poking at the slit at his tip. Jake actually  _ yelps _ and jumps, bumping himself kind of hard against your teeth. You wince sympathetically and pull off of him. Your eyes open reflexively, trying to see the look on his face, if you hurt him or something. 

Having your eyes open after keeping them closed for so long is weird, and you have to blink a few times to adjust. You just look straight up at Jake, and immediately you see that his face is dark crimson, the blush spreading down his brown skin all the way to his shoulders. His eyes are lidded and his bottom lip looks a little plump, and you can tell it’s because he’s been gnawing at it. 

You’ve been doing that to him? Christ. 

“...You okay?” you ask, voice quiet and low. Jake seems to finally notice you’re looking at him, and after a brief moment of surprise he nods and smiles down at you. He...he is so fucking gorgeous. Jake looks so good it chokes away any further words you might say, your throat clogging up with emotion. You close your eyes again. Jake loosens his grip on your hair and just cards his fingers through it. The tenderness doesn’t help you become less emotional. 

So instead, you get back to it, and return his dick to your mouth with even more enthusiasm. “D-dirk,” Jake moans, and that’s also really hot, not anything emotional and sappy at all, just sexy, come on. You wrap your hand around the base--you can feel your hand graze his balls and pubic hair, but you don’t really want to factor those in quite yet--and bring him a little deeper in. 

Jake says your name a few more times, and as you start to slowly bob your head up and down you let your tongue explore further. He’s actually slightly thinner at the base, and he thickens noticeably further up. There is definitely a curve You can feel his tip bump up against the roof of your mouth. Jake moans again, and fuck, you moan too, because this feels...like you could literally do this all day. If Jake could last that long and if he’d let you? You would. 

Jake seems to be getting fairly worked up, and you haven’t even started sucking yet. You rectify that, your cheeks hollowing out. It causes some extremely fucking lewd noises to start happening, including more moans from Jake. Fuck. Shit. That’s hot. You wish your pants were not on so you could touch yourself, but there’s also something about the denial that makes it hotter. Your hair gets tugged hard enough to hurt a little, but it’s a good kind of hurt. A kind that sends sparks of arousal down your neck and back. 

You’re going faster now, and you’re not thinking about much besides maintaining pace. Jake is pretty fucking loud at this point, and not very coherent. Your cheeks and jaw are starting to ache, but even that feels kind of good. Finally, a thrill goes through you as you start to feel Jake’s dick throb against your lips. You open your eyes and look up. 

Jake’s eyes are closed and his head is tilted back. He’s even redder than he was before, if that’s possible. His eyebrows are pinched, his mouth slightly open. You can see his adorable overbite, how his shoulders heaved with each moan, how his lips look when they form your name. 

“Dirk, yes, you’re so  _ good _ at this holy mackerel, you’re--” another moan as you suck a little harder. “I’m so close, I’m gonna...”

You were so distracted by maintaining your performance, you kind of forgot about what you planned to do at this juncture. Which was nothing. You didn’t plan at all. That’s unlike you. 

Unfortunately, you’re out of time to figure it out. Jake shudders and shouts, and then something very hot and ridiculously sticky shoots into your mouth. As sexy as you’d like to be, just taking it in stride, it’s kind of a shock to your system. You reflexively jerk away to try and spit it out. Then another spurt hits your face and nearly gets on your eye, fuck. It’s kind of demoralizing and you can’t tell if Jake is looking at you. But...shit, you gross fuck, you feel a genuine thrill deep down in your pathetic gut at the thought. A little more gets on your face and the rest just ends up on the floor, including the small amount you spit out. 

“I--oh. Oops,” Jake says, panting. You are definitely keeping your eyes closed for this. Maybe you can pretend this isn’t as mortifying as it is. You try to wipe some of the cum away with your hand, and just grunt in acknowledgement of Jake. He’s still out of breath, but he removes his hands from your hair and moves them down to your face. “Sorry. Here, let me...”

He shifts and grabs something that he rubs on your face. You huff and twitch. Is that...one of your  _ smuppets _ he’s using to mop his cum off your face?

The absurdity of this hits you like a ton of bricks, and you can’t stop yourself from laughing. 

“Jake, are you seriously--you--” you feel Jake try to keep your head steady with a strong hold as you shake with laughter. You have no clever comments to make. You simply laugh for a minute or two, letting all of your remaining anxieties flood out of you. Jake apparently decides the smuppet was a stupid idea--yeah no  _ fucking shit-- _ and grabs something softer instead. You’re going to guess the corner of your blanket. Great. 

“I’m glad you um. Enjoyed yourself?” Jake asks quietly, as you start to calm down. Oh, no. He sounds uncertain. You can’t do that to him.

“I did,” you say, and you’re still smiling. Just a little. “Could...probably work on sticking the landing a little better.”

“I thought um,” he clears his throat, and you can feel his thumb near your still closed eyes. “The landing looked pretty spectacular. From my end at least.”

Oh. So...he got a kick out of seeing you like that? You should be embarrassed but...shit, even the suggestion that Jake likes how you look makes you feel a little giddy. 

“Are you going to keep your eyes closed forever?” Jake asks with a small amount of amusement. Right. You should...probably open them.

You do, and look up to see Jake smiling down at you. He’s still flushed but not as much. A little sweaty. The way he’s looking at you, with his hand cupping your cheek, makes you need to swallow again. Your mouth and tongue are still throbbing from the workout. “...Sorry. Forgot.”

“I’m glad that worked out so well.” He hums and tugs at you, motioning that he wants you up. Oh, crap. Your knees actually  _ really _ hurt. You wince, but start to stand anyway. You don’t get far before Jake is tugging you into his arms, and onto the bed. You huff and oblige him, crawling in beside him. You’ve still got pants on and they’re stupid tight. 

Jake sighs happily and does that thing where he nuzzles you like a fucking puppy. It’s really, really cute. It makes you feel like Jake really does like being with you. You hold him back and don’t even care about your own untouched dick. Jake seems to forget about it in favor of cuddling.

But then he apparently remembers, eyes opening again moving a hand to your hip. “Where do you get off still having this on?” 

“Not much at all, actually,” you joke. You can’t resist. Jake scoffs. 

“Maybe I should remedy that?” he suggests, his voice dropping in register again. His hand shifts lower.

It takes a considerable amount of willpower to reach your own hand down to move his away. “No. Leave it.” You’re finished. Trying to do more would just turn into yet another fucking production, but reversed. You are perfectly content to just cuddle with Jake, bask in the afterglow, and let your boner sag to nothing after a few minutes. Although you could do without the pants. 

Jake pouts at you. “Another time,” you say, hopefully appealing to Jake’s overall eagerness for sex. Which you can finally tell, for sure, is definitely a thing. 

“...Ffiiine.” Jake pulls his hand back to return to cuddling you. After a few more minutes of lying there, you do actually take off your pants, since they’re far too tight and hot. Then you get out Jake’s laptop, and the both of you watch a movie in bed. Jake keeps kissing your cheek sloppily. You get antsy to take a shower. 

Time moves forward, but it brings with it the promise for more and more moments like this. And for this brief stretch of time, you’re not that worried about when it’s all going to come to an end. 


End file.
